ORCAE ITA

Children of Smiles and Sighs

2011-12-28T17:46:00.000+05:30

Life is cast with skies of constant change.
Sometimes bittersweet rain and other times warm sunshine.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

Sometimes we dance of joy in the rain.
Other times we hide out from the storm.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

We seek the warmth of the sunshine at times.
We seek the shade of the clouds at times.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

Some flowers bloom in the rain.
Others wither in the sunshine.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

Some butterflies flitter in the sunshine.
Others fall in the rain.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

Some memories are cold and haunting.
Others are like a warm zephyr.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

We follow fleeting hope, with burning hearts.
But all that is beautiful drifts away like the flowing water.
We are but children of smiles and sighs.

I find comfort in utter darkness,
Than to be in the sunshine or rain and see what might have been.
I am but a child of smiles and sighs.

~*~

Of Rides in the Darkness

2011-12-20T17:48:00.004+05:30

The end most often is the beginning. For sometimes there is enough strength in the dying embers, to flare up again.

There is comfort in the darkness, when the hourglass is empty.
The ornament is broken.
There is fear in the darkness, when the ride is incomplete.
Picking up the pieces is an exercise in futility.
There are no distractions in the darkness, when the road is bittersweet.
What is broken will always be broken.
Darkness is absolute in the absence of light, but sunshine may be around the corner.
Just ride on to greet that sunshine.

The end is another beginning. For even though there is enough strength in the embers to flare up again. The fire that will rage will be different from before.

Awed! Humbled! Shattered!

2011-11-22T23:28:00.004+05:30

We should not shed tears.
That is a surrender of the body to the heart.
It is only proof,
that we are beings that do not know,
what to do with our hearts.

~ From Bleach by Tite kubo

I think I must let her go. The child that was struck with awe!

It hurts, it pains, it strikes me with dread the thought of letting her go.

She is a butterfly, she is empathy personified. She is a rock star. She is a party girl.

I think I must let her go. The child that was struck with awe!

I wanted to be with her… I wanted to learn the salsa with her, wanted to ride off in the sunset with her, wanted to build castles on the shore with her, wanted to gaze at the night sky with her, wanted to hold her hand and walk on the beach with her, wanted to climb the mountains with her, wanted to trek in the jungles with her, wanted to scare her with ghost stories, wanted to slow dance with her in the rain, wanted to stay up all night watching old movies with her, wanted to cook and eat with her, wanted to make her feel like a woman, wanted to spend an eternity in her embrace, wanted to listen to her beating heart, wanted to wake her up with breakfast in the bed, wanted to kiss her at every opportunity, wanted to grow old with her. My heart, soul and mind are at odds with each other, one refuses to let her go, one refuses to believe what is happening the third is attempting to rationalize what each wants and what must eventually be done…

You know that meeting you has put her in the situation she is now, where she is forced to choose between a past that promises an uncertain future and a present that promises an equally uncertain future.

How can one let go of something they love? I understand that a major part of the trust and understanding for each other stems from the fact that you want to ensure the happiness of the other person. But if her happiness means, letting her go… I must let her go… Maybe she was not meant to be with me… She definitely deserves someone better… Why was I not able to hold on to her? Why do I feel incomplete without her? Why does it feel like I will never be complete again?

But the extremely funny thing is … the question that follows; it pales the above question in comparison. You wonder if her meeting you is the trigger for her current unhappiness…. If that is true then I am damned, if not then I am damned cause either case I have made a bony lass cry, by being there for her, by not being there for her.. I made someone shed tears just by being their life to cheer them up. How could I be so Naïve?? How could I not see what was coming?? I have long known that I am a broken creature not meant to be pitied or loved. I can only observe the world from afar, a lone observer. And a lone observer I shall be again.

Every moment spent with her was of infinite worth; for it represented an entire eternity. I will forever hold her close to my heart and soul cause for a brief moment she showed me that I too am worthy of love. To love and be loved in return, a feeling like none other. Her very existence is proof that I too was worthy of love. She made me fall in love with love again. I stand in awe of her. I am humbled.

But I suppose if she is truly happy then it was worth it, if not …. I don’t want to answer that, I hope and pray that it never comes to that, as I cannot justify any answer, not now not at any time. That will swallow me whole.

This is grey, neither black nor white, a void where my questions and desires must not be satisfied to ensure that she is happy. A void, that eats you from the inside at every moment. This void will be filled in due time, but a part of it will remain forever.

Why do we cling on to hope? Why does one do it? Even though the person knows that if unsuccessful, the whiplash will drown them. Why endure it? Is it for that overwhelming unnamed feeling, it’s not love; it’s something higher that I felt, words can’t describe it. I felt that higher power for the first time as it mercilessly overpowered me… suffocated me… and left me defenseless. Only hope can give rise to despair. But it’s impossible for anyone to try and live without hope, so I suppose that leaves us no choice but to walk ahead with despair as one of our companions.

The most incredible thing you'll ever experience is just to love and be loved in return.

But don’t worry about me; I will gather my shattered self into the artifice of eternity. I will lock these feelings up and bury the key in her. I am the lone observer. I am the evil overlord. I am immortal.

This post is dedicated to the Awed Child, I thank you for every thing, I am sorry for everything, you should know, letting you go was the hardest thing I have had to do.

33638,6544

~*~

.defeated.

2009-02-20T18:22:00.004+05:30

The darkest night,

The silent breeze,

Defeated by the lone candle.

The brightest candle,

The fresh flower.

Defeated by the cold wind.

The warmest wind,

The colorful picture,

Defeated by the endless time.

.entwined.

2009-02-10T13:29:00.001+05:30

meeting by chance,

friendship by choice,

love, the entwined saga ...

The Black and White Queen

2009-01-15T02:33:00.004+05:30

The echoes of eternity,
The zephyr of time,
Silenced by her.

Speechless & Frozen in Time,
Chained to the enigma that is her,
I Dance to the Sonata which is her.

She is the Symphony of Light,
The perfect Hues and shades of love,
Behold!! The Black and White Queen.

~*~

My First set of Haiku Poems.

Snowed In

2008-12-16T22:38:00.001+05:30

When did the soft rain turn into a snowfall? I know not…

When did the warmth of the sun fade away? I know not…

When did the birds stop singing? I know not…

When did the landscape turn grey? I know not…

When did the leaves fall off? I know not…

When did I lose myself in the snow? I know not…

When did I turn from the path in front of me? I know not…

But one thing is for certain, Winter is here at last.

Of Pain & Death...

2008-12-07T02:25:00.005+05:30

This was drafted a very long time back, almost a year back. I perchance came upon it while talking to a friend about Death and Feelings. So after a small re edit here it is finally.
Here is the thing... everyone is afraid, most often of themselves, of their own cognitive reality and to some extent their feelings. They talk on love, about how great it is, but it’s not so. Love hurts, loving someone even more so. Feelings are depressing and painful, jubilation also; it paves the way for a depressing mind.
One is told repeatedly that pain is evil and dangerous and that it is to be avoided. How can one deal with love then, if they're afraid of pain? Pain is meant to make us feel alive. People try to hide it (myself included). But we are wrong!! Pain is like a scar, it is to be lived with, like a case of fine wine we keep to mature. Experiencing pain strengthens us, makes us who we are. It's all in how we deal with it, how we carry the pain. (That is of prime Importance) Pain is a feeling, probably the only one tangible enough to sustain on. Our Reality includes our pain, our feelings, and our dreams. So why would you avoid pain?
But if one indeed seeks liberation from pain, then the only way is to let Death claim you. For that is the only way to escape your reality completely, for Death is a void, a black hole, the end of existence; you can’t experience anything more after that (The termination of self itself), but the conundrum thus far unanswered is this “Nothingness” after death… we are quantifying this equation, by placing ourselves there. How can one fall into this nothingness, and remain there for the said eternity?
That said and done, what are you going to do? What path will you choose?
As for me I always say that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Moreover I am Immortal… so far so good…

I Love you.

2008-12-02T16:37:00.018+05:30

I love the following individuals in my life; they have been with me through the waxing and waning of happiness, and the tides of sadness that come with it… (they are the people who I know will walk, not in front of me, nor behind me but with me as I take life by the horns, till death takes me…even though a few of them I have met recently… it would seem that we have walked together for an eternity, an eternity of happiness … protection at times and mischief other times…) Listed below are they and in what regard I hold them.

My Mahāmāyā, She is the strongest individual I have known. She is Spartan for words, but still has enough for me whenever I go wrong. My metamorphosis for her was a bitter sweet event for her, but I rest assured that she will back me up and support me no matter what course of action I take. She is also my best friend and well wisher she is first of 3 who knows the Identities of all mentioned here I have no secrets from her. About her I shall not speak any more, for enough has been written already.
My pātrōnus, he is the Master of all trade, Him I look to imitate, his footsteps I try to follow. He is the most disciplined Individual I have ever come across. There is nothing he has said or done without calculating at least 20 steps ahead. Whatever I have done and accomplished he has been the Trigger, to him and him alone I attribute my spoils till date. His take on any issue is objective and practical, an aspect which I try with all my strength to achieve but fail most often. He has been there and done that. When playing against him, the ball is always in his court.
My Tigress, She is the epitome of success. I was upset when she did not follow her dream, which I am sure would have lead to a revolution in that field, but I was glad because she continues to excel in the field partly chosen for, and rest by her. She is a born fighter and a hopeless romantic at the same time.
My Mistress, She is the one Individual who defines me, the one individual who I share all my secrets with. The second of 3 individuals who know the Identities of all mentioned here. Nothing more shall be revealed about her.
The Sage, He is my oldest friend, His counsel Means the world to me. I shall not be revealing much about him too. He also happens to be the third of the 3 who know the Identities of all mentioned here.
My Little Bounty/Glinda, She is like my sister. When the tide pulls in she is there to help me out. Her little words of wisdom which she meticulously searches and types out, makes better a day going bad, she has been the only one who somehow senses my day and sends out messages to uplift me. She is Glinda, she always knows.
My Consigliere personale, He is like my Blood Brother. He is the one with who I shall conquer the entire world. With him by my side I have no fear of failure. In his own rights he is a force to be reckoned with. He is a natural athlete. And the best thing about him is the fact that when he makes up his mind no one can change it. He has a resolve like the Mountains and he will be there for me till the very end, like I for him.
My Maiden of Conversations, She is the Personification of a riddle. She is both the extremes when it comes to lifestyle, a devout devotee and a party animal. There is no one single Title for her. Her take on any solution is very unique and very perspective. She is a person to whom I can go and discuss anything under the sun. She will always have an opinion be it Religion or Society or Science. Conversations with her have been in a level that I have so enjoyed and cherished that I have no words to describe them.
My Fellow Shinobi, He is like the ultimate storehouse of energy, He is game for anything and everything under the sun, a store house of information, and he has an opinion on everything, more often than not it’s pretty valuable. He can also get very objective at times, which I would call his greatest strength. He is cool and level headed under fire. He is also one of the few people I will go to when I am in trouble. Conversations with him have been interesting and Debates have been even more so.
My Healer, although titled as my healer, this individual is also my bodyguard and councilor. Through various punishing trials she has a resolve forged in steel. She is one of the few individuals who hears me out completely, yet it is in my nature not to open up to her completely, so I hide stuff from her occasionally. Maybe one day, when I am Stronger I will open up, but that day is yet to see the sun. And I fear that it might never come to pass. She is also the first Individual I have come across who can be punishing and warm at the same time to the people she is close to. She is one who has the guts to follow her dreams and achieve it.
My princess of Mildendo, She is the person with whom I have the uncanny ability to talk on ends about totally random threads. She is also my councilor and is a person who is very special to me. What I like best about her is the fact that she is a survivor, and she displays her spoils and scars alike with pride. The only other thing I will reveal about her is that her stature is similar to the Princess of Mildendo.
The Hunter, The Slayer & Chaos, They are protégé turned masters. There are few who can defeat them. They too are people with rock solid determination. They are people who go all out on whatever they set their minds on. They are and will always be my friends, competitors and Inspirations. The adventures we have had are for the books and milestones in my life. My go to people when I am in trouble.

Finally,
Death, He/she is the only one exception from the people who I have mentioned above, id est he/she is the only one who walks behind me, Keeping a watchful Eye on me. Under his/her glance I live my life prepared to walk with him/her when the time comes. I consider him/her to be one of my greatest critics and I am sure that when I am alone with him/her, he/she will have a lot to talk to me about, cause for the time being he/she seems to be rather quite.

I Love all of them, yet I am not in love with them. I hope that made sense.

~*~

If you are reading this, and have been mentioned above... Then the following words for you: "Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."

A Loss of Words...

2008-11-03T00:54:00.005+05:30

She called out to me again today…

She was upset, upset that I had not been in touch with her. Its has been only 4 weeks since I last spoke to her, but for her as she put it, sounded like 4 millennia….

I will not lie, I always feel good when I talk to her, and she is the very essence of my being.

But I still ignored her.

I heard her silent plea for acknowledgment and yet I ignored her….

She is my mistress, my mistress of the night, sometimes I sit late at night gossiping with her, she completes me, makes my day. Talking to her is like reliving the memories of yesteryear when all was good, nothing was out of place… but that time is now only a distant remembrance, and I can only live them through her.

With her it was always bright and sunny, sitting beside her in the pleasant shade, life was bliss, but now… I found joy in the rain, in the constant patter of the rain that beckons me to dance, like the newborn who finds warmth in the bosom of its mother, I found joy. I felt guilty.

Guilty cause I was doing the one thing she told me not to, like me she feared the storm but unlike me she did not embrace it.

I walked down that path, enduring it, companionless, even when all hope was lost; I still stumbled on, picking my self up where I fell, starting from scratch where I lost everything. I Endured. I endured it alone.

Through me she endured it too… she survived the storm. For a moment I though she would join me, dance with me, become my muse again. But it was not so.

For that I punished her, I stopped speaking to her.

She was my healer, my councilor and my missy… I wonder now if she missed me the way I did her.

Like the crying child misses its mother, I missed her.

Then without warning the urge to talk to her again set in … this urge could not be ignored even, even blocking it out did not seem to work … so I sat down with her and made amends. I admit it felt like nirvana…

She started off by telling me how I have changed. How dancing in the rain, has changed me, how finding joy even in despair changed me. I liked it. I made a vow that day, to keep in touch, silently making a resolve to show her how liberating dancing in the rain is. She is my mistress once more.

For the moment I ignore her, because for the first time in my life I am at a loss of words, I don't know where to begin, where to end...

I wish I could tell you, but I can’t find the words....

Sometimes we put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares to break them down.

This Post is dedicated to my Mistress, without whom I would not be the individual I am today

~*~

The Touch Of A Woman

2008-09-20T01:48:00.004+05:30

Ah, the Touch of a woman,

Seductive it is, the Touch of a woman,

Lusty it is, the Touch of a woman,

Reason is lost over the Touch of a woman,

Men have been lost over the Touch of a woman,

Wars have been fought over the Touch of a woman,

An enigma it is, the Touch of a woman.

That what I call the touch of a woman actually encompasses a lot more than mere touch; it includes the Scent of a woman, the whims and fancies of a woman and every thing a woman does which you end up noticing.

The touch of a woman, so to speak defies logic, it defies Reason, and it is the irresistible force which not only moves an immovable object but also structurally changes it. This ambiguous force of nature is not always destructive, but is always cataclysmic. There is no inference or hidden messages in this blog; it has been presented below only to showcase the mysterious, intoxicating, and sometimes fatal conditions that follow the touch of a woman.

The very act of her looking at you causes you heart rate to increase, blood pounds your ears, irrespective of your testosterone levels you will act like the bull, just for her. Now why would a rational individual do that? It is because; the most primeval instinct of a male, of any species is to attract a mate. The touch of her skin against your always is cool why? Cause there is an increase of blood to all extremities of your body in that point of time. I have seen men bend backward to accommodate the whims and fancies of a woman, why would one do some thing like that? However the answers cannot be chalked up to pheromones alone, there is a lot more in the equation.

“She is like this vestigial part of my memory, it’s a total waste of time and effort talking to her” This above line quoted by a head banging rock star, brings more light to this phenomenon, Men once touched by a woman are for the time undone, temper rages and even profanity takes center stage, until of course they are touched again by another woman.

I am a curious being by nature, so I actually asked a few of my friends, weather they believed in love at first sight, the girls as expected said no ( one thought that, I found a girl , bah women I tell you ) a few guys said yes ( experience speaks I guess) all but one of the rest said no comments ( the diplomatic freaks) , and 3 actually said No, one even eloquently broke it up and said ( and I quote) “ 95 % lust (testosterone), 3% stupidity, 1 % Bravado and 1% love”. Who can argue against that? All I will quote is that is Love at first sight is a by product of the touch of a woman.

Do you know what else is a by product of the touch of a woman? (Scratching the surface a wee bit we arrive at :) Every thing in society which is male dominated, justification you ask? Well, look around you the females have played the species card so aptly that, you have not even noticed their slow and steady rise to their current semi dominating position. The silent climb was so silent that that, here are the women side by side, rubbing shoulders, with the Males.

Ah, the touch of a woman,

The very Instrument of men’s doom,

The very embodiment of life

Touché to you,

For you have come at last,

To aid thy wielder to be the harbinger of tomorrow.

~*~

Ps. I am still the chauvinist I was. The above post is in no ways dedicated to the woman persona, but to the enigma which come in the package with her, the touch of a woman.

Also note that, I hold all women (exceptions of a few) in great admiration and respect for with out them, life would be extinct by now.

One more thing The Touch of a Woman is toxic as far as I am considered; readers are warned not to experiment. Do so at your own peril.

For the first time, in a long time

The above post is dedicated, mainly to four people

The 2 people with whom my objective conversations range from sports to religion to even historic figures ( one of who is my secret confidant, I tell that person every thing), my shrink who has a split personality, and my healer who always gets a weird Vibe from me.

THE LAST BRICK

2008-08-15T00:28:00.001+05:30

The storm is still raging on around me, I don’t know how but I manage to find my footing and crawl to the place where my Tower once stood, the caved in derelict just a shadow of its former self now slowly crumbling away, in front of me, that which protected me for 7 years is now broken, but in reality it feels like I am broken. The debris is scattered across the entire place, and the storm makes everything un-salvageable. All the stuff I want to protect is now destroyed. All the stuff that hunted me in my final moments in the Tower is no more.
(A mixed emotion, that of deep regret and freedom now smothers me, for the second time after being outside I am acutely aware of the rain, the spray of water on my self, washing all the hurtful memories away. As the last brick also slowly crumbles away into nothing, the regret vanishes; it is like being born again, its intoxicating, the feeling of having survived the storm and no longer being a prisoner to my memories.)
The storm of storms as I had once thought of it is now a gentle rain, like a warm shower on a cold day, the feeling of joy that it gives is overwhelming. My endless debates with my self as to whether SHE was the one, whether SHE was the answer to the enigma that is me, are now the basis of my nascent dogma. Abraham Lincoln once said “The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present”, but mine is based on a stormy past which eventually leads towards something new and different. The way ahead now for me after a long time is bright. The light is now what I welcome.
Every thing comes back around, maybe there will be more storms, but the sun will eventually come out like it has now.
If this has taught me any thing it would be 2 things, one primary fact that Life is not about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain, and secondly that one should not attach oneself to things that one cannot let go in 30 seconds.
My dogma, etched out in stone is a constant reminder of my past. You can say that it is the very last brick of my tower, some thing that cannot be forgotten and should not be forgotten…

*
Part 5 of 5

THE LONELINESS

2008-07-30T23:21:00.000+05:30

In this side of the barricade, there is but little light, light which throws monstrous shadows against the walls. In this gloom you can hear it; the silence is now over, the storm has thundered in, so loud you can barely hear yourself… Now I am truly alone. Alone in the darkness I have only myself and my memories. Creaking walls and rattling windows betray the stability of my room; the tower will definitely not survive this storm. It will collapse. It’s just a matter of time.

(Darkness really adds a new perspective in every thing, and that is not always good. Suddenly people who you once trusted blindly are the ones who you are running from. As you lie awake at night on the brink of tears, you will inadvertently go over the time you spent with them, wondering where exactly; at which specific point of time did every thing start to fall apart? Where did you go wrong? Those are few of the answers that are with them and for ever will be denied to you. You can only guess or estimate them…)

In the darkness, there are no shapes, there is no fluid concept of reality, and there is no sense of time either. All the things I brought in, all the memories I then clung on to, in the darkness are transformed, into monsters, Hunted and tormented I Frantically start breaking down the barricade I set up first to protect my self and the things (memories) I wanted to fight for.

The idea of being confronted by my past never terrified me so much, I was and am afraid of loosing my individuality, but this fear is new, and it is unfathomable, for me to be hunted by my past, I always cherished memories, it was the one thing that remained constant even if the people in them changed. I realize now amidst the chaos of the storm, that I would rather face the storm out in the open and be threaten by the possibility of being drowned alive than stay in the room a wounded prey to my memories.

Finally the barricade breaks, and I stumble outside in the thunderstorm alone and empty-handed… I glance back to see my room, my tower, My Castle being upturned brick by brick, that what took 7 years to build is now being turned to rubble in less that 7 minutes.

For the first time I feel the rain upon my face, all that’s left of my room is a brick. The very last brick.

(Part 4 of 5)

THE EMPTY ROOM

2008-07-04T00:25:00.000+05:30

They say that in times of mortal danger the human body just shuts its self down, to preserve its-self. It is not exactly voluntary you see; that switch (as I call it) is involuntary. According to me the same holds true mentally also.
So in a way you can guess what happens when the storm comes to drown me. It shuts down; it becomes pitch black in the room. However, there is something to be learnt from the darkness too; in the absence of light you get a level of solitude that is unprecedented. The room though full of things (I brought in many things, a lot of memories, of a time when it was nice, I believed that it is best to hold on to memories as they are the only things that do not change even though the people in them might… but I was so mistaken) becomes empty, with out the light there is nothing, nothing what so ever, just an empty space. (Try it for yourself, blindfold yourself, what do you see? Nothing, Try switching of the lights at 3 in the morning what do you see? Nothing…) the darkness helped me once long back, I look to it again and hope that, she too has not forsaken me.
Now for survival, I cling on to all that I can, and let go of all that I can…. There is much to be learnt from the absence of light and the empty room.

Its time to wipe the slate clean, and barricade my self in...….

part 3 of 5

THE BLANK PAGE

2008-06-07T11:31:00.000+05:30

There really is calm before the storm, a lull in its activity. I have a strong hunch that it is because it tempts you to leave the safety of you room and venture outside, so that it may crush you and drown you unaware. But this Storm I have faced before, I have survived it once before and I am sure I will ride it out again, (but what is this nagging feeling that won’t just go away...) The storm has now grown with the room; it is now on a totally different level than before.
As the silence continues I realize that this storm is not a naturally occurring one. It has come to balance me. It has come for me. Come to wipe me out, drown me.
Ash to Ash, dust to dust rings true now. The circle has to be completed, no matter how big it grows. Buildings are erected to be toppled down. (Even In nature, if the forest grows too quickly, expanding on all available land, a storm will come and bar further progress and push it back a bit.)
7 years ago it came to balance; now it returns. The pages in my life are now blank; all efforts are being channeled towards survival. All I can do is try to turn the page.

Part 2 of 5

THE CLOSED WINDOW

2008-05-04T23:50:00.000+05:30

There exists a room in me, in you and everyone; it is what makes each and every one of us unique. We build this room by our self, with our own hands, shaping it and nurturing it, in any way we desire. This mental Extension of our physical abode comforts us and protects us in times of need. As a result this room it totally unique to the person who built it .We sneak away precious artifacts and items and store it there, stuff we would not like to forget or leave behind.
(My room, I can’t describe it, as it will then cease to be mine as you will be able to imagine it and hence reach it so I am not going to describe it)
My room is where I go when there is need for it, as I love the solitude it gives me. There is assurance in the fact that none of you can reach it. Here is where Silence can be heard. A silence so loud, that it shuts out the physical world (It is like having a high end head phone and sitting by the beach, you hear the music not the waves.). This is My Sanctum, which no army can conquer.~
But of late there is a great unrest in the winds, something is blowing this way. The window over looking my mind just slammed shut. The Silence is now the low growl of a Storm that might very well break the very foundation upon which my room is built. I think it might even drown me in its wake.
Despite all my efforts the window remains firmly shut. It is now closed, (once again) after 7 long years.

Part 1 of 5

DESOLATION

2008-05-04T00:51:00.000+05:30

"Some thing about this feels familiar;

I know I have experienced it before."

IMPACT

2006-10-23T16:27:00.000+05:30

Im·pact (ĭm'păkt')
[From Latin impāctus, past participle of impingere, to push against.]
A force, also known as impulsive force, which acts only during a short time interval but which is sufficiently large to cause an appreciable change in the momentum of the system on which it acts. The momentum change produced by the impulsive force is described by the momentum-impulse relation.

Imagine 145 kg + 60 kg + 80 kg being dragged on the hot asphalt due to turbulence in an otherwise streamlined motion. id est. [that is to say] a system containing 2 people A & B and one two wheeler [Brand Z], which on getting chipped by a stationary system [an out of view heavy tri wheeler the ones used to transport goods not people which is conveniently out of order in the middle of the road] goes out of hand and as a result the described event takes place.

But , we are here not to talk about the physics , but rather the thoughts that crossed the mind of the individual B
But before that a word about A
A is a gifted driver who is quite quick and is capable of making split second decisions, which did reduce the extent of damage on the participants.
May his GOD bless Him.
The individual B is slightly on the heavier side. He is a headstrong ATHEIST, and believed that in the scenario of an accident he would leap with his friend to safety before they go down, and would eat his HAT if proved wrong [he is gagging on his hat now].
Now let’s examine his thoughts, at the source he took protective gear for the first time, and as usual the thought of an accident hadn’t crossed his mind. They made good time in the sun and then it happened like falling dominoes one event leading to another, they decided to overtake a bus from the right, but unfortunately a heavy three-wheeler was right where they never imagined it to be. And thanks to some impressive maneuvering on the drivers part most of the bike cleared the stationary three-wheeler but still due to excessive weight a little part dint [A adds new insight as he stated that the cause for turbulence was a car hitting from behind and not the tri wheeler] and as a result chipped it and due to the momentum and the newly introduced turbulence the 2 wheeler skidded and got dragged along the asphalt this was after the two riders got “ejected”. Now in mid air the first thought in the mind of B is “helplessness” all his self assumed grandeur now just a faceless whisper, he was just like a rag doll at the mercy forces which he never fathomed before, in that fraction of a second all he experienced was pure primal fear[mortal fear] … and yet before he could blink he was on the road helpless to move… and then it hit him… he was flung from the bike...he then got up, moved to the corner of the road, and then the pain hit him, immense pain and relief at the same time…

Both A & B are fine they escaped with just superficial wounds

I guess this is an experience of sorts…

Id est. [that is to say] experiencing fear first hand…

PS the Driver insists that the system was hit on the rear end by a 3rd party (a car) which set the events in motion.

Conclusion....

2006-08-22T23:22:00.000+05:30

To have acted out of the blue and touch a person in need with out feeling conscious of the people watching you and passing judgment... is to have experienced the first and the most moving one of the unnamed feeling…..

To feel the pain and joy and other emotions of a fellow human being with out checking to see the thread of people connecting the two of you is to feel the second unnamed feeling

To feel enraptured by any one any one and still be innocent about it is the third of the unnamed feelings

The above 3 are mere extracts from the previous posts but when read together, one after the other the only conclusion drawn is the fact that he/she must be totally unique to have felt even 2 of the 3 feeling (different people feel it differently). these people view the world in a different light a totally unbiased view. They step forward to help complete strangers for a feeling of satisfaction that only they experience… a warm glow that never ebbs away from them….

But in current times the scenario is completely differently the theory or selfless help is frowned upon even the beneficiary looks upon you with a shy eye wondering what’s in it for you. The thought never crosses him that you are helping the person from the view of helping with out any ulterior motives.

Here I am using Homo sapiens as the target because you know what? The animals never doubt us, the moment you help them genuinely they trust you completely, but not humans.

“Un idea perplexi na”

Id est (that is)

“The idea is strange to us”

That a fellow human can help us with out having his/her own plans.

well I conclude by saying that the world can certainly do with more people who selflessly help others….

And remember a benevolent person does not choose whom to help but helps who ever approaches him/her

AND FINALLY THE THIRD THE MOST PURE UNNAMED FEELING

2006-05-14T15:59:00.000+05:30

No prizes for guessing what it deals with… yes its love mixed with innocence of a child… with time as my proof and best ally I can safely assume that every one has experienced this the 3rd unnamed feeling... for it is something that is very common .. but people hardly realize that, for you see the beginning for every great love story starts with this …..
This a feeling that is higher than crushes, higher than infatuations, raptures but a rung below love and friendship( yes I am a person who believes that love and friendship go hand in hand… cause without friendship there is no love and vice versa )
Now I felt this feeling a while back (believe me because for me this passage of time was real hell) don’t go all perverted and assume things…. While you are in this “state of affairs” all that you will wanna do is to sit down in one corner and just looks at the person involved, observe every movement the person makes and feel content.( content like looking at rain beating against the window while holding a steaming mug of soup/coffee your preference…) (for the record …I am over this hill ….select few who do happen to know the name will please abide by their vow of silence)
The symptoms of this sate may vary from person to person (because although we are of the same species, inherent qualities distinguish us from the rest). But in general you will act stupid around the person involved, try to start up a nonexistent conversations…. Try go bump into her around the corner ( after all the observing you happen to know the exact schedule of the person involved) and again say comical things( as far as I am concerned …and wash out the plan I had so meticulously laid out). In my case it was even worse… (I consider myself to be a very dynamic person ... to such a person a relation is something like pure mayhem) I wasn’t able to think straight… you can say she was like Vodka and Gin (500 ml of it in one swing “hard hitting”… ) all I had to do was to look at her and I would go flat…. I mean flat… my 'ok sniffish hip' helped in a sense because he was the excuse I needed to rekindle broken conversations……
I call this a pure feeling cause it is pure … it is the one feeling that proves you to be a human more than any other feeling named or unnamed
I guess this is the third feeling as I felt it you may feel it differently.
Of that i am sure and,
I am sure that you are sure too
To be concluded….

THE SECOND AND MOST TOUCHING OF THE UNNAMED FEELINGS

2006-05-08T17:09:00.000+05:30

Those of you who have not yet read about the unnamed feeling( I call them like that … who knows maybe someone somewhere who has experienced them a lot might have named them) please read the post below first…..

There are totally 3 of them the first one is simple that is it is not complex.. if you get what I am saying then you will understand that the 2^nd and 3^rd are actually a collection of many emotions and feelings the second for example is a collection of feelings like innocence (which also plays a minor part in the third one),guilt and above all reflections… you don’t understand? Let me elaborate…

Many of you I know would have gone to weddings, funerals, birthdays and what not, but have you ever been to these as a friend of a friend id est. (that is) you are not related to the main tide of the event …that you are there as a mere guest?

Well I have been to a lot event which fit the later description and the ability to mingle and feel the pain/joy of total strangers around you is the second such unnamed feeling

Reflections of feelings are the same as your own reflection... id est. (that is) the ability of mirroring the feeling of the people around you whom you need not necessarily know.

For reflections to be put in action you are in need of a small amount of innocence …. Cause if you see kids/ (animals) (who are undeniably full of innocence) imitate the feeling of the people/ (pack) around them... Laugh and they laugh, cry and they cry (one panics and it spreads like wild fire ……….get a life and watch animal planet for a change)……

id est.(that is) to feel the pain and joy and other emotions of a fellow human being with out checking to see the thread of people connecting the two of you is to feel the second unnamed feeling

But bear in mind this is tough to experience… cause (judge me not) many people leave their innocence at puberty and assume adulthood ….completely shunning

Innocence……..

(To be continued)

THE FIRST AND MOST MOVING UNNAMED FEELING

2006-04-28T17:32:00.000+05:30

I believe that every living entity on this overloaded planet has feelings.....

And by feeling I mean feelings not state of mind.. cause I feel the two are slightly if not entirely apart. Feelings are emotions, and sensations, and they are different from thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, and convictions…. Which I feel are related to the state of ones mind….

Bear in mind that I am currently addressing mental and subconscious feelings and not the physical ones.

There are countless feeling which plague the human mind. Which in turn, gives rise to different mind sets. But for this post I refer to the first of the “unnamed ones” ….

Ever walk down a busy lane and felt heart wrenching sadness/pity for the barefooted limping beggar who every one ignores as he makes way across the road which is blistering hot (which sometimes back you thought is so @#$%ing hot that you could fry eggs on it!!), huh? if yes did you feel like helping him? If yes did you do any thing? if no then you have never experienced the feeling this post is abt. But to those of you who did help him… I commend you. No word no statement can ever come close to describing the elation you feel when he cries on your shoulder and tells you “thank you may you live long” (rough English translation)

For the record I must add that when I saw the forlorn man I rushed into the nearest shoe store and got him the bata slippers… ( I felt it will make a small if not big impact on the man and at that time the road was really hot …..)

The sense of gratitude was overwhelming and I felt warm and happy inside… to have acted out of the blue and touch a person in need with out feeling conscious of the people watching you and passing judgment.. is to have experienced the first and the most moving one of the unnamed feeling…..

(to be continued….)

A HYPOTHESIS

2006-04-06T19:28:00.000+05:30

Would you believe me if I told you I found the reason why people are afraid of death?

Prolly not!! But this is a vast topic with so many opinions; I feel mine is some what valid and reasonable … so bear with me….

Let me first tell you about the concept of the alpha male …. Alpha the first letter of the Greek alphabet also gives its title to the best of every field. The alpha male symbolizes the best, the strongest, the most cunning etc of the lot. The alphas ensure their seed passes on to the next generation… according to the survival of the fittest. Among animals, (whom I consider a better lot than us….. I am a self critical human sometimes so sue me!!) the alpha male (in other terms the top dog literally ) gets to mate with his/her (being a male chauvinist I prefer his ..but in lieu of the current era the female counter part has proved its self to be a worthy opponent … so salutations to the females ) choice and ensure the survival of its genes.

The alpha male is often testosterone driven and hence reckless and rash he does so because he is not afraid of death. Let me explain why the sole principles in the animal kingdom is to eat, sleep, mate… every other activity is a derived class of these main classes(for the dumber population fights for grub, mate, territory etc… you know now……) mating being the super class…. So now that its genes are ensured survival.... its reckless and etc…..

Now this model used to fit every animal on Earth(yes humans too) but not any more…. The reason being …. Population… yes… population ( no not the game….) why you ask… its very simple…. Like I said humans have exploded in terms of population so even the least capable individual gets a mate suited for it if it works hard enough ….. but nature isn’t without its sense of cold cruel irony(which is why I am in love with it), now that the old classes don’t imply to us any more it’s a new more complex model which surprisingly is easier to implement.... those in a similar wave length with me…. would have guessed it… “Fame” is the new super….that is every individual is scared of death cause it feels that its name will be lost in the endless desert of time and it will be forgotten… where it refers to the individual…

I know I struck a chord in you .. deep down even you cant help but agree with me…

And no doubt you feel I too suffer from this complex cause I seen to have given it a great deal of time and thought…but sadly you are mistaken….I am not at all scared of death….cause in my own little way I try to touch every one I come across and make sure they remember me…… don’t smile … I happen to know its true….

For now

Mors ultima linea rerum est - Death is everything's final limit. (Horace)

VITA CONTIN GIT. VIVE COM EO

2006-03-19T15:57:00.000+05:30

VITA CONTIN GIT. VIVE COM EO

Those of you who read my first blog will remember I used the term jollies...
well those who believe in this saying are more or less jollies...

Say, if life were a chef, and if he served burnt toast with butter, the jollies will relish it…
Not like the others who will just curse him and say “life is unfair cause someone got perfect golden brown with cheese and look at me all I got is this… blah blah”

Now I know for a fact that every one at some point of time has been very jealous of another being just cause the other person has got it made. Believe me when I say that, this never happens to jollies, cause these elite groups of people are content with what they have.

Id est (that is to say) it does not take much to make them happy.

This happiness of theirs is infectious and it spreads around the place where they work. People seldom get bored in their company. The atmosphere is happy and cheerful.

These people can be recognized at once they will be the ones trying to change the mood of the gathering.

The strange part is that jollies never realize that they are jollies…. it’s the other people who recognize this trait in them.

Jollies are born not made.

However

Jollies can be made but it would take an eternity to finish.

VITA CONTIN GIT. VIVE COM EO
Life happens. Live with it.

~HABETIS BONA DEUM~

(have a nice day)

MORS ULTIMA RATIO

2006-02-19T17:47:00.000+05:30

MORS ULTIMA RATIO
Death is the final accounting

It is not that I fear death.

It is just that that will be then, that I will come face to face with this so called all mighty God.

As you would have suspected I am a staunch disbeliever of the entity God. I for one, will not at any circumstance give in to the notion that there exists a being (the alpha/omega) who literally controls all of us and is making things happen.

In ancient Latin there is another quotation which sort of adds proof to my statement….

PRIMUS IN ORBE DEOS FECIT TIMORE.

“IT WAS FEAR THAT FIRST CREATED GODS IN THIS WORLD”

In ancient time peopel used to worship what they fear, & then as humanity matured they gave it human forms as a result the wonderous powers of the God are in second fiddle to nature.

I have nothing against any religion or any personal belief, it is just that in today’s competitive world as people are confronted with more and more complex problem, they look to the skies for the answer as if God will mysteriously remove all hurdles from their world. BUT in today’s dog eat dog world isn’t one mans/woman’s hurdle another’s stepping stone, so does the mighty God favor the individual who prays more instead of the person who has spent more time on resolving the problem at hand?

Do you also see that more and more people thong the places of worship in search of answers and deliverance of evil instead of just putting their mind and effort into resolving it.

Or as a few say it….

“It maybe true that God created this world in which we all live, but what has he been doing ever since”

~PAX VOBISCUM~

(PEACE BE WITH YOU)

Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.

2006-02-16T15:27:00.000+05:30

Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.

Golden lines to golden people ….

Of course it may be a punch line from many movies

But I feel every one must be able to relate to it ….

I will tell you later what it means but first hear me out

Now the obvious question for the select few who know Latin.

About what?

About every thing …..

It may sound strange…. But the bold text is one of my mottos for life and all the surprises it holds for us. people make fun of you and abase you in ways only they can dream up , then you either retaliate or you ignore them thinking I wish I was stronger then I did show the BARBARI (barbarian) a thing or two… or you can do it my way… have a high threshold for your temper… and simply don’t consider the unpleasant remark as an insult but look upon it as a comment from a person who doesn’t know you well enough.. I have come across many people who share that view point and believe me there a shortage of such people.

These people live life the way it’s dished out to them. No worries, no tension and etc. let me call them jollies; these people are not to be confused with people who are not bothered or in other words people who are only concerned about themselves. They care for other and don’t like to hurt others

for my first one i think this is enough

Now I will tell you quite frankly that 90% of the people who read this will feel I am preaching, preaching? Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.

Which means… ~Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.~

so live life to the fullest and dont give a damn to the rudeness around you